raison d'etre

I've always secretly wanted a blog, but what's held me back is the fear that I'll get so caught up trying to play to the audience (if there is one) that whatever spontaneity and honesty my writing might have had will simply turn around and slink away. For I'd like to think at the end of the day (though this view is an eminently contestable one) that I'm writing for me. Spring-cleaning my thought process by laying the whole dirty mess in front of me in Arial size 11 or Garamond size 10. (I know whole generations of the world's finest writers will turn in their graves when they hear this but i can actually think straighter on the keyboard than on paper.) But its not just that. The little observations and feelings that make my day are stale by the time I get to talk to somebody about them. And I suck on the phone. Whole sentences inside my head come out as monosyllabic grunts. My ideal would be a lazy conversation over coffee or beer but who am I kidding? Some of the most important people in my life don't even live in the same time zone.

So here goes.